約訪張偉義，時間很難湊合，皆因任職製作編輯的他是一名夜班工作者，每晚9時上班至次日早上7時，工作起來晨昏便要顛倒。終於逮到一個週末的早上，我們碰面了。這個訪問有點特別，我不會手語，他也聽不見我說什麼，在較早前來往電郵中，我建議他找一位會手語翻譯又了解他的朋友，他認為不是最好的方式，“不如我們見面時，都帶手提電腦，然後用msn交談。”光是想像這樣別開生面的采訪畫面，約訪便令人充滿期待。
但是見面時，他一來便喊了我的名字，他靦腆的說，由於聽不見，因此他即使能說話，但是音準和一般人有差。不過我忘了有沒有告訴他，他喊我的名字喊得真標準。
張偉義給我的第一印象是像個大孩子的，有點佻皮，笑起來眼睛瞇成一條線。他自我介紹時，在眼睛旁比了一個“C”字，“C”是他的姓“Chong”，放在眼睛旁則是因為他三歲就開始戴眼鏡。今年28歲的他樣子比實際年齡年輕很多，他打趣說聾人臉部表情很豐富，臉部常做“運動”，所以顯得特別年輕。若不是知道他的背景，單憑外表、工作能力或是學術成績，外人很難想像他自小處在一個無聲的世界。充滿理想和抱負的他說，若不是“聾”的身分，他相信自己的表現可以更好，也不會受到世俗的傳統觀念、制度“綁手綁腳”。
3歲時，他就被家人送到語言治療中心，學習手語（KTBM），1年後停止課程，直到7歲進入聾人學校。這個課程與小六教育一樣，但是一般孩童只需6年時間，聾人需花8年時間在小學教育，“設計課程者以為我們需要更多時間去適應課程，我們在學習上有問題，其實是他們根本不瞭解聾兒童真正的需要！”他感嘆這麼說道。
在那里，他有很多和他一樣用手語溝通的朋友，一起上課、玩樂。教聾兒童的老師在教育上給了他很大的啟發，他的學習進度比較快，因此也常常幫助其他學習較緩慢的朋友。
升上中學後，首半年他是和其他聾學生上特殊教育班，和聾人一起上課是開心的，大家一起用手語聊天，聊得不亦樂乎，但是上課卻沒有一定的時間表，老師有空才進班。他不喜歡這樣的上課方式。
盡管如此，他自覺是幸運的，中一下半年他在一名老師的推薦下，與普通學生一起上課。因為他的學生進度和普通學生一樣，他已無法適應特殊教育。進入普通班後，他以“反社交”來形容當時的自己，因為他和其他同學使用不同的語言，同學們都不懂手語，他無法如常和朋友溝通，難以融入普通學生的圈子。由於他比同班學生年長2歲，所以其他同學都當他是“大哥”，也樂於在課業上幫助他。
他和正常聽覺的朋友交往，就像“筆友”在紙上溝通，或是如“網友”，而網上聊天室則給了他很多便利和朋友交談。
令我感到好奇的是一個聾人聽不到老師講課，怎能上課呢？他笑說剛開始他很專注上課，但是除了數學老師在黑板上教方程式他看懂之外，其餘老師一直講不停，卻沒在黑板上寫字，他一點都不明白老師教什麼。因此，他常常在課室“靈魂出竅”發呆，作弄其他同學，非常搗蛋。
老師待他如一般的學生，偶爾會問問他是否跟上教學的進度，有時也不予理會，老師對他來說可有可無的，班上其他聽覺正常的同學或許也有一樣的想法，他和他們並沒有不同，不同的是他在課室聽不見。
年終考試時，他的成績叫所有人吃驚，連老師都不可置信的看他問：“你怎麼可能考到第一名？”原來平時在課室“遊魂”嬉鬧的他並沒有放棄學習，考試前在家熟讀老師給的筆記和參考書
升上中二後，他跳上第六班，同樣穩坐第一名，中三再連躍三級，讀第三班。看他成績進步神速，心想他一定比普通學生花更多時間在課業上，他卻告訴我說，他是標準的電視迷，尤其是中學期間簡直中了電視毒，香港、西班牙、美國電視劇。每逢考試期間，臨時抱佛腳的他拼命讀書之餘，也不忘抽出二三小時追電視劇。
升上中四後，他最引以為傲的科目是數學、高級數學和會計，然而在化學、物理等科目，他卻需花更多時間去背記下來。盡管這些科目在校內考試分數都是從及格邊緣“低空飛過”，不過在大馬教育文憑考試，他突破以往的成績考獲A。
張偉義認為聾兒童應該和普通學生上一樣的小六課程，只是教課用不同的語言。如果聾兒童可以跟得上課程，他們可直接嘗試參與普通班，接觸更多使用不同語言的朋友。
他不諱言他在申請學院科系時，讀的都不是他最喜歡的。因為他的特殊身份，只能依據他能力所能符合的工作而選擇，家人鼓勵他選擇網絡編寫的科系，他喜歡上網，但這是興趣，不是他想要的終身職業，不過最後他還是妥協，選擇電腦系，並順利完成4年的大學課程。
目前他在一家國際出版社工作已有4年，起初他蠻喜歡這分工作，在那里有付費電視台、數碼光碟機、免費提供各種飲料、沒有工作時還可以上面子書、玩網上遊戲等。
近2年來，他開始感到厭倦，不想過如復印機式的生活，上班、下班、睡覺，彷彿對工作失去熱情，只為了生計，做自己不喜歡的事情。
在這段期間，張偉義不斷申請獎學金想赴美深造，然而事與願違，不過他並沒有放棄，退而求其次，繼續找其他的學校。
我國大學如國大、工大、理大，學院如LUCT、SAITO、KDU都有提供聾人課程，大部分的課程是平面設計、電腦等，當中只有國大提供的特殊教育是專為聾人設計的課程。
此外，馬大也有專為聾人開辦的手語研究系召收2名碩士研究生和1名博士研究生。他申請報讀語言學系的聾人研究碩士課程，希望重新找到對生命的熱情。他的研究題目是“手語運用對聾小孩字彙系統的影響 ”，這對他來說是極有挑戰性的，在這之前他從未寫過論文。
今年他如願以償獲得世界聾人領導的日本基金會獎學金，原訂在8月到美國加拉德特大學(華盛頓)修讀第二個聾人碩士課程。加拉德特大學的著名課程是聾人課程，提供的科系有心理學、特殊教育、心理學、手語、美國手語。這所大學真正瞭解聾人的需要，這也是他夢寐以求要修的課程，尤其是心理學，他希望可多瞭解聾人的心理，盡管他也是聾人，但是每個人的想法都是獨特的。
不過，由於目前還在修讀馬大的課程，最快也要明年6月才能赴美國深造。他告訴家人他也想完成博士學位，家人聽後都說“這太浪費時間了，並不需要讀到這麼高學位”。他直認自己不甘於平凡，他也想向別人證明，常人做得到的，有障礙的人也能做到，“每個人的未來都是充滿希望和光明的。”心理素質往往才是決定夢想實現與否的關鍵因素。
小時候他興致勃勃的告訴母親，長大後要當飛機師，然而母親的話卻宛如潑了他一盆冷水：“好孩子，你不能當飛機師，因為你無法聽見！你要夢在能力範圍所及，像有關電腦的工作。”我不在當年的現場，但可以想像他的母親在說這番話時，語氣裡一定有掩飾不了的無奈與難過。
當他漸漸長大步入社會，這個特殊身分－－聾人，的確讓他在職場的窄門碰了一鼻子灰。他無奈的說，在馬來西亞，聾人的就業市場非常受限，他們往往只能從事與電腦相關的行業，一如母親早前的忠告和預言。他不想安於這樣的職場環境，他希望讓人看見聾人也能在事業上有一番作為。
只不過，現在的他在學術上雖有成就，也即將出國去，但內心深處仍有一大隱憂。令擔心縱使擁有再高的學位或文憑，終究無法在現實的社會派上用場。“我想了很多未來就職的可能性，充其量也是在聾人的圈子當老師，就算是當大學講師，也只能當聾人的講師。”
每次想到這里，他都不自禁有點喪氣。“我的其中一名聾人朋友是語言系手語研究碩士畢業生，當她回馬後卻不能發揮所長，彷彿也看到自己的難處”。
職場上的限制，他再努力也無法沖破那道藩籬，因為他不能像常人一樣社交，他曾幻想過，如果他不是聾子，他應該可以做得更好，然而他也知道，這就是無從改變的命運啊！
後記：我好久不曾像今天一樣在網上和同一個人聊天超過2個小時。張偉義在網上聊天室是健談的，從小學到大學，工作、生活、家人、朋友、老師、聾人教育，無所不談。
可是談到夢想時，他卻是一臉無奈的，欲言又止。因為聾人的身分，他的夢想也受到限制，從媽媽告訴他不能當飛機師的那刻開始，他知道不能追求自己所夢的。他很努力的想要去扭轉自己的命運，卻彷彿以卵擊石，無法從願。盡管如此，慶幸的是他從不放棄，朝自己的目標前進。
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Thanks to my friend, Charles for the translation and I have edited the translation. I edited by putting [ .... ] - it is either translation error or report error. lols...
To arrange an appointment with Chong VeeYee for interview, is really not an easy task. This is mainly because he is working as a production editor, and his work starts from [10pm] till 7am. His working hour is upside down as compared to mine. Finally, we managed to make an appointment to meet on a weekend. This interview is rather a unique one, this is because I do not know sign language, and he can’t hear me. In our earlier correspondence, I proposed to him to ask along a friend who knows sign language, so that that friend can help me to do translation, but VeeYee didn’t think that was a good idea. “How about when we meet, each of us brings along our laptop, and we can use MSN to chat?” proposed VeeYee. The thought of conducting an interview through MSN, is really something rather interesting, and I was really looking forward to that interview.
On our interview day, VeeYee called me when he saw me. He explained to me, because he cannot hear, so even if he could speak, his pronunciation would be different from hearing people. But I forgot to tell him that day that he pronounced my name very accurately.
The first impression that VeeYee gave me was he is a big little boy, a bit naughty, and when he smiles, his eyes closed into a single line. When he introduced himself to me, he fingered a letter “C” and placed it near his eyes. He said because “C” is his surname “Chong”, and he puts it near his eyes because he started wearing glasses when he was 3 year old. Though VeeYee is 28 year old, he actually looks much younger than his age. He jokingly said that because deaf people show more facial expressions, so they exercise more of their facial muscles, that is why deaf people will look younger.
If you have never known his background, by his look, his working capabilities and his academic results, it’s hard for anyone to believe that he actually grew up in a world without sounds. He believes, if it’s not because he is [deaf], he could have done better, and he wouldn’t have been tied down by the worldly standards and views.
At 3 year old, VeeYee was sent to a “language treatment center” to learn sign language. He stopped a year later, until at the age of 7 only he was registered into a regular primary school [where there is a special class for the deaf]. This [class] is almost the same as the normal [stream classes], except instead of 6 years, they take 8 years to complete. “People that planned the syllabus thought deaf people need more time to get used to the syllabus, but in actual fact, they totally didn’t understand our problems and our needs”, said VeeYee disappointedly.
In that special [class], he had a lot of friends that he communicated with using sign language. They studied together and they played together. Those teachers at the special [class] had really encouraged and helped him, and since comparatively, his learning ability was faster, that’s why he always helped those that were weaker in their studies.
When he entered secondary school, the first half a year he was still in the special [class]. Although it was very nice to study together with the [deaf] people, playing and chit chatting with other [deaf] people with sign language, but he was rather unhappy with the teaching arrangement there, because there didn’t seem to be any study time table, and teachers come in and go as they like.
Because VeeYee’s progress and his learning ability was very good, special [class] was no longer suitable for him. Hence, the second half of his Form One, he was transferred to a normal stream [class].
When he was in the normal [class], he uses “anti social” to describe his personality there. Because the language he ‘speaks’ and what his other classmates speak are different, so at times he finds it hard to fit into any of his fellow classmates’ outings. And because he was 2 years older than the rest of the classmates, so most of his classmates treated him like a “taiko”, and they also helped him a lot in his studies.
VeeYee’s relationship with his hearing friends are just like pen-friends, using pen and papers to communicate, or just like cyber-friends chatting in MSN. But he noticed that MSN has really eased him a lot in his communication with his hearing friends.
What made me curious is that, how does a [deaf] person attend classes? VeeYee laughed and replied me, at first he paid close attention to what teachers said, but other than in math class, where teachers will write down formulas on the boards, other teachers, they just kept talking none-stop, and not a single word was written on the board. So at times, he has no idea what the teacher was teaching. And so, at times he will just stare at the teacher blankly, while his mind wanders off to somewhere else. Or he will be disturbing his friends. A very naughty fellow.
The teachers there treated him like normal students. Occasionally will ask him how he was coping with class, and at times just didn’t bother about him. To him, whether the teachers exist or not, didn’t seem to make much difference to him. And it seemed that most of his classmates think so too… The only difference between him and his classmates is that, he heard nothing in class.
But when it came to final exam that year, his result shocked all the teachers and all his friends. No one could have believed that. “How could you have managed to get first place in class?”. It turns out that even though in class, he was physically around but his spirit wandered off, he has never given up studying. He worked very hard memorizing reference books and notes that the teachers gave.
In Form 2, VeeYee moved up to the 6th class, and still he was first in class. In Form 3, he jumped to the 3rd class. Looking at his result, I thought he must have spent more time than the normal hearing students in studying and revising school work, but he told me he was a TV addict, he watches all types of TV programs, including Hong Kong, Spanish, American dramas and so on. Even when it was near exam, and he had to burn midnight oil, he would still spend at least a few hours on TV.
When he was in Form 4, he was very proud of his achievement in Math, Add Math, and Accounts. But subjects like Chemistry, [Physics], he’d need extra effort and time to memorize them. Even though those few subjects he just marginally passed them in school exams, but in SPM, his effort scored him A in those subjects.
VeeYee believes that deaf children should go through the same kind of syllabus as normal hearing kids, except their subjects are taught in sign language. And if they can do well in their UPSR, they should be given the chance to be transferred to normal school and widen their horizon.
VeeYee said that when he was choosing what he wants to study in college, he couldn’t choose the major that he likes. Because of his hearing impairment, he could only choose a major that is able to get him a job that can accept his shortcoming. His family encouraged him to major in some [computer programme] courses, because he likes to go online. But to him, going online is just his hobby, not something that he would want to do as his job for the rest of his life. Nonetheless, he accepted it, and chose a major in computing and finished his 4 years at college studies.
Currently, he is working for an international publishing company. He is attached with this company for 4 years already. Initially he quite like this job, because there is paid cable TV, DVD players, free beverages, and when it’s low season, he can even go on FaceBook or play online games.
But for the past two years, he started feeling bored with this kind of a rigid rut. Go to work, come back from work, then sleep. It’s like repeating this life style just to earn a living and not doing something that he really enjoys.
During this period, he has been applying for scholarship to further his studies in the U.S.. But he hasn’t been that successful, but he has never given up hope.
In Malaysia, the local education institution like Unitversity Kebangsaan Malaysia, University Techonology Malaysia, University Sains Malaysia, LUCT, Saito and KDU do offer courses for the [deaf] people. Most of the courses offered are in designs and computing studies. So far only University Kebangsaan Malaysia is offering courses/syllabus that is specially cater for the [deaf] students.
In University Malaya, there is a special course for the [deaf], and they are recruiting two degree holders and one master holder for a research. VeeYee applied for the [linguistics] in the language faculty. He hopes to reignite the passion that he has for life. His thesis is entitled “The usage of sign language and its effect on [deaf] children”. To him, this is a very challenging topic, as he has never attempted such thesis before.
This year, he received the Japanese Scholarship to further his studies to the University in Washington D.C., the U.S. in August 2010. However, since he is still studying in University Malaya now, so he has postponed his study plan to next year June. This [Gallaudet University] is very famous for their courses in special education, psychology, sign [linguistics] and American Sign Language. This is one of the universities that truly understand the needs of the [deaf]. These are the subjects that he really wishes to learn, especially the psychology of the deaf. Even though he is a deaf person too, but everyone has different kind of psychology.
He told his family that he wishes to finish his doctorate before returning to Malaysia, but his parents think that was a waste of time, because it is really not necessary to study till so high level. But he just wants to excel in himself. He doesn’t want to just live a normal life, he wants to prove to others that what normal/hearing people can do, handicapped people can do it too. Everyone’s future is full of hope and dream, it is the mental/psychology that is determining whether those dream can come true.
When he was small, VeeYee told him mom that when he grows up, he wants to be a pilot, but his mom discouraged him. “My son, you cannot be a pilot, because you cannot hear. You need to limit your dream to your own capabilities, like a job that is related to computers”. I wasn’t there when VeeYee’s mom said that to him, but I can imagine how heart broken his mom was because she has to say something like that to her child.
When he slowly steps into the adult world, he realizes his special identity – deaf person, made it very difficult for him to find a job. He thinks that in Malaysia, the job market for the deaf is always limited to something that is related to computers. Just like what his mom has foretold. But he doesn’t want to be in such occupation just because of his hearing disabilities. He wishes to let everyone see that even [deaf] can achieve something very high.
However, even though he has achieved good academic results, and will be going overseas soon, but deep down, he still have this worry. He worried that even with his high education achievement; there may not be a place for him to apply his knowledge. VeeYee has given thoughts to his future career possibilities, and no matter how, he will still end up in the deaf people circle, and he only foresee that he will end up being a deaf lecturer in universities.
Every time he thought about that, it will make him sad. He can’t help to think about a friend of his who has just come back from her overseas education – major in sign linguistics. But when she returned to Malaysia, there doesn’t seem to have any place for her to contribute her knowledge. And at times he fears that will be his future too.
Because of the limitation in the job markets, it seems that sometimes no matter how hard he tries, he will not be able to break free from all this limitations, just because he cannot communicate like everyone else. Sometimes he believes, if he is not deaf, he could have achieved something really big in his life. Yet he knows this is his fate, and this is something that cannot be changed.
Interviewer’s comment:
It has been very long since I had an online chat, with the same person, for more than two hours. In the cyber world, Chong VeeYee is a very friendly and talkative person. His topics range from his primary school life, to secondary, to university, work life, family life, friends, teachers, deaf people’s education and so on.
But whenever we talk about his dream and his future, he seemed a bit stuck. There seemed to be so much that he wanted to say, but yet, none came out. Because of his hearing disabilities, he knows there will be a limit to his dreams. From the day that his mom told him that he can never be a pilot because of his hearing disability; he knows he can never chase after the dream of his heart. He tries very hard to change the fate of his life, but nothing seems to work. Even so, it is good to know that VeeYee never gave up, still continue to work hard to reach his goal and his dream.
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